Not All Training Is Created Equal.

At the beginning of last year, with the success of my business at the forefront of my brain, I made a commitment to myself to lose weight and gain muscle. The truth was that I was suffering under the delusion that I couldn’t work in fitness — that I couldn’t train other people — unless I looked the part. Lean, jacked, tan, subsisting on a strictly Paleo diet. The works.

That’s actually a different story, though, not this one.

With those goals in mind, I set out to find a trainer that could help me do just that. Sports-specific training and nutrition for performance are my game, not the GTL life.

And the jacked, tanned, bodybuilding bro I decided to work with immediately pushed me out of my comfort zone.

“You’re going to have to take progress pics every week. In a bikini.”

It made sense, of course, that the assessment we would be using is specifically related to how I LOOKED because that’s what my goal was related to. That’s how assessments work, after all.

So fine. Whatever. I hate that, but it’s fine.

I had only ever trained with an eye toward getting better on skates, so pushing that to the background and focusing on something else was a little bit scary. It was fine with me if my performance suffered a little bit, but I still planned on practicing and playing in the upcoming season.

Intellectually, I knew it was going to be rough.

Physique training necessarily means that you train hard and often — usually to the point of near failure. And fat loss nutrition means that you eat fewer calories than your body needs to maintain it’s daily functions.

Add to that 2 practices a week and a handful of scrimmages per month and it’s easy to see that it was going to be difficult.

I was anticipating all of the energy loss and fatigue. I was ready to curtail my practice attendance to the bare minimum and pull myself off rosters and scrimmages that were B-level.

At least I THOUGHT I was ready.

There are a lot of things that you can’t fully wrap your brain around until you experience them. Roller derby, for instance. Or motherhood. Or the sheer scope of the Grand Canyon.

Physique training during a sports season is one of those things.

  • I trained 4 days a week for 90 minutes a pop.
  • I ate somewhere between 1200 and 1500 calories a day.
  • I attended practices and played in games.

Until I couldn’t anymore.

  • I built up a lot of muscle pretty quickly.
  • I lost over 20 pounds.
  • I had to take LOA from the team.

Because I completely wrecked myself. 8 months in and I couldn’t sleep and wasn’t hungry. I had to take LOA because everything hurt all of the time and I didn’t have the energy to make it through even a single practice.

It’s been nearly 6 months since I stopped training for physique and my body still hasn’t recovered fully.

I knew going in that athletes need to be careful with their training to enable themselves to perform when the time comes. And I also knew that I was willing to give up some performance for this new goal.

What I didn’t understand was just how important it is to train like an athlete no matter what your goal is. And to have a coach that understands the demands of your sport.

My trainer was great, but he didn’t understand how much energy I was expending every time I laced up my skates. He knew how to train me like a physique athlete, not a roller derby one.

Except even with physique goals, I still had to train for the demands of my sport.

There are a lot of trainers out there with a lot of ideas about what THE BEST TRAINING for roller derby is. The truth is there are a lot of things that work, but you need to use them in conjunction with the actual sport.

You can’t ignore practices or games. You can’t ignore where you are in your season. You can’t avoid the fact that this sport takes a lot out of you.


That experience was one of the reasons why I decided to build a program to help athletes reach their goals that actually takes into account the fact that they play a sport.

And they have a season.

And also a life.

The Cephalopod Squad was born.

Not only is it a training plan to boost your athleticism, but it comes with access to a coach (IT’S MEEEEEE!) who understands the physical demands of a full-contact sport on skates. A skater that has been there and can help you adjust your schedule to fit your demands. (Even if that means taking a week off. Because sometimes it does.)

Here’s an idea of what the program entails:

  1. New Training Programs each month to keep you progressing toward your performance goals and leveling up every aspect of your game.
  2. Access to a private Facebook Coaching Group where you can ask questions, post form videos, get encouragement, or vent your rage at the bros in your gym.
  3. Weekly Live Coaching Calls that cover in-depth more tips and tricks for getting the most out your training program.
  4. ACCOUNTABILITY & ACTION. Being in the group with other like-minded athletes and putting some skin in the game will help you stay focused, work harder, and get results — whatever they look like — faster.

Come join us to have your best season yet with a world-class coach and a gaggle of other athletes cheering you on.



About IronOctopusFitness

Online athletic training and nutrition coach, full-time mom, okay skater, and connoisseur of all things tea, chocolate, and roller derby. I'll help you unleash your inner athlete by building a strong, capable body that can withstand whatever life throws at you.

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